Paul: Hey, Jack.
Jack: I’m meditating.
Paul: Wake up, I have an idea.
Jack: Is dinner served?
Paul: No, not yet.
Jack: Ring me when hors’ d’oeuvres are on the table.
Paul: I’ve got a great idea for a webseries.
Jack: On the internet?
Jack: I’m not flushing toilets, shredding paper or playing the piano. No one watches that drivel, anyway.
Paul: Yeah, well, I don’t know. But I did have this idea with you as the host of an interview show.
Jack: Like Anderson Cooper.
Paul: Maybe more like Geraldo Rivera.
Jack: Pardon me, I need to clean my toes.
Paul: Your public wants to see you again.
Jack: My public can send a SWAT Team to rescue me.
Paul: Oh please.
Jack: 778 Forty-Second Avenue
Paul: You love it here.
Jack: Sweet Home.
Paul: You’ve never been happier.
Jack: Who would name a town ‘Sweet Home?’
Paul: That’s the thing, see. You could interview the locals, get their perspective on living here, talk about what they do.
Jack: Drugs, and beat their wives.
Paul: I wasn’t thinking about those kind of interviews.
Jack: I can sneak into the center of a heroin party and capture exclusive footage of people shooting up.
Paul: I was thinking more about interviewing the little old ladies that plant flowers on Main Street.
Jack: Ride in the cop car while they evict hippies from abandoned buildings. Burn down illegal pot crops in the forest.
Paul: Chat with the guy who runs the feed store? Interview the woman who makes noodle collages?
Jack: I think I’ll look for mice.
Paul: Of course I can’t do it unless I get a camera.
Jack: We can be thankful for that.
Jack: We can only hope no one contributes.
Paul: Don’t be mean.
Jack: People, listen to me. If he gets a camera I’ll have no rest around here. It will be Paparazzi Paul in my face 24-7.
Paul: Painters need paintbrushes. Writers need pencils!
Jack: Cats need solitude.
Paul: We have all winter together.
Jack: That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.
Paul: And I can use the camera for my feature film in Texas next year.
Jack: Am I in it?
Paul: Uh, I don’t know. I mean, it’s going to be in the summer, in Texas. And there’s not really a role for you.
Jack: So I get to do ‘man-on-the-street’ interviews instead?
Paul: From a cat’s perspective.
Jack: What has my career come to?
Paul: If I get a camera everyone can find out. The donation site is here. I think I can get a used camera and equipment for about 800 bucks. https://www.fracturedatlas.org/site/fiscal/profile?id=7041
Jack: Eight hundred dollars would by a lot of catnip.
Paul: Do the show and I’ll get you catnip.
Paul: Yes. I’ll write a memo deal. You can send it to your agent. Jeepers, you’re demanding.
Jack: We should name the show The Jack Show.
Jack: How about “Big Cat Around Town.” Or “Cattin’ About.” I want my own theme music. And my own dressing room. This will be my big comeback…